Day 22

Core synergistics! If there's one workout that aboslutely kills me... it's this one. I'm still struggling with it, and definitely can't make it through the bonus round at the end. The regular round is enough for me! I'm still struggling to finish each movement with all the reps outlined by Tony, and I'm struggling to just do each movement! I sometimes have to skip one (by movements I mean the different exercises done within the workout) so I can catch my breath and build up enough energy to keep going. I am not a core person, and the fact that I'm not a push-up person either doesn't help since much of core synergistics uses various types of push-ups within the workout. I suppose this is ultimately the best thing for me- it will help me grow and hopefully help me become a push-up person, but I truly do hate it. I'm not letting that hate get in the way of my success though. I know I need to suck it up and push through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. (AKA weight loss, phsyical fitness, etc.) I need to do this. I want to do this. I want to reach my goals.

Speaking of goals... I'm not sure I've quite outlined these yet on this blog. Ultimately, I'd like to get back down to a size 8 or 10- preferrably 8, but 10 is acceptable. I'm currently around a 12 or 14, depending on where I'm shopping. Usually closer to 14. It's hard for me to be this honest, but if I'm not willing to accept reality I'll never be able to accept the reality that I need to make a change in my life. I'd also like to drop about 40 pounds. Now, given, if I'm building muscle, that might be difficult seeing as muscle weighs more than fat. That's why I've set the pant size goals. My boyfriend doesn't want me too thin so I'm going to stop there I think- that's where I was when we first started dating. I'd like to be that girl again. If I get there and I'm still not comfortable with the way I look, then I'll set another goal to reach until I feel satisfied. All I know right now is that I can't stay where I am. It's not healthy and it's not attractive.